where football comes to be loved and laughed~*

Real Dirty

2012-01-23T23:57:00.000-08:00

What happens when you dress up a wild bull in a white jersey and release him on a football field during a big game against FC Barcelona?

That is what happens.

Everyone was furiously disgusted with this deliberate foul (you can see El Bull actually looking before he stepped on Messi's hand). And when I say everyone was mad I really mean EVERYONE - even the Moubsessed spanish press. Instead of their usual worship, the next day the headlines condemned the club, especially Pepe's infamous Messi stamp. One article even called Pepe "a public danger" like he was some sort of disease virus that was spreading around Spain.

I don't know what was going on in his brain when he thought stepping on Messi's hand would be an amazing idea to do, but you know it's really bad when even Wayne Rooney is calling you an idiot. Real Madrid made Pepe apologize publicly, but the damage to Real's image had been done. Who is going to believe in this PR crap? I don't think even the most deluded Madridista would fall for that shit. You know who he should be apologizing to directly? Umm, the guy who he actually stepped on. Just a suggestion.

To make the Real fiasco even worse, reports have been going public about a pretty intense dressing room squabble between Sergio Ramos and Los Blancos numero uno Jose Mourinho. Here is the confrontation that was overheard by everyone working under Real, since apparently they were all shouting at each other :

Mad Mou : "Serhio! You killed us! You killed us!"

The Ramos : "I did not kill you. You are still here, yes?"

Mad Mou : "I mean figuratively, you idiot!"

The Ramos : "Ohh..... figuratively. What does that mean?"

Mad Mou : "NEVERMIND WHAT IT MEANS. Where were you when Tarzan (Puyol) made his goal?!"

The Ramos : "I was guarding Pique, D'UUH."

San Iker : "Sir, if I may cut in-"

Mad Mou : "SHUT UP, IKER."

San Iker : "Okay."

Mad Mou : "Why were you on Pique?! You were suppose to be on Puyol!"

The Ramos : "Well, sometimes things get really confusing on the pitch - sometimes I get really confused anywhere - but at the time we decided to switch places cus I was watching Pique. He's a big mutherfu-"

Mad Mou : "Oh, so you're trying to be coach now, HUH??"

The Ramos : "No, but at least I've actually been on this kind of a pitch, unlike some people."

Kaka : "Awww, snap."

Mad Mou : (scribbles in his notebook furiously)

That was all from my head but it's basically real since my imagination is as legit a source as Spanish media reports.

So, will this Real Madrid fiesta end in June?

Regardless, King Guardiola will be classily watching from his gold throne.

tears for Real

x Natasha

He's a Keeper

2012-01-18T00:49:00.000-08:00

If you were the long-time head honcho of one of the biggest football clubs in England with a position on the pitch to be filled, what would you do?

It's been, what, 8 months since the departure of previous Manchester United goalkeeping legend Edwin van der Sar (or better known as VDS) and still his position between the posts has yet to be taken. Not because United doesn't have any replacement, rather they are ripped between choices : One being the talented young goalie from out of the country, David De Gea, and the other import being Danish goalkeeper, Anders Lindegaard. Both are young, talented, and proven eager to play for the club, but how do they compare?

Anders Lindegaard

27; Denmark

Date of purchase : November 2010

Transfer fee : only Fergie and his gum knows

Track record before United : capped 4 Internationals with generally clean sheets

Track record after United (this season) : 6 clean sheets out of 7 appearances

David De Gea

21; Spain

Date of purchase : August 2011

Transfer fee : 2nd most expensive goalie after Gianluigi Buffon (wow)

Track record before United : 24 clean sheets out of the last 45 games at Atletico Madrid, International caps with Spain U-21

Track record after United (this season) : 23 goals conceded out of 18 appearances

I'm not going to write their track records in detail because I don't have the time or care, but in general it's easy to see the predicament that hangs over United's Sir. They are both obviously very capable and any one of the two would be an asset to any club, but who should be goalie numero uno?

De Gea hasn't had the easiest time since his debut, and the Mancs haven't exactly been kind to him either everytime he makes a blunder. Considering the act he has to follow that one's a given. But contrary to popular belief among the english football fans that don't keep tabs on La Liga, De Gea was actually a star at Atletico Madrid. In fact, he was probably one of the best which was why I cursed monkeys when I first heard United was going to sign him. He's young but he's very mature pitch-wise, you can see it in his confidence in the goal. A young skilled player that isn't afraid to play with the big boys - that's hard to find.

I can't say much for Lindegaard though, because I've never paid much attention to him. He's always been in VDS' shadow and apparently he was off for sometime with an injury. But if I had to judge him by his recent shows this season I'd say he's not bad at all. Evidently he has a better United record but he hasn't had the same amount of appearances as De Gea so it wouldn't really be fair to compare them based on that, not to mention the fact that his games have been against slightly easier opponents - Norwich, Sunderland, Villa, Fulham, Wigan - compared to De Gea's who, as of now, is still Fergie's no. 1 choice.

Okay, so these two guys both know how to keep. Both of them are young but De Gea is way more younger than Lindegaard, which could either be his upperhand or downfall in the matter. I mean if United is looking for a long-term goalie then it's best to stick with De Gea. He's of worth and he still has a long future ahead. He's not had much of a hot season but I think people (especially the media) need to give the guy a break. He's just moved to a foreign country without being able to speak a word of english and not only does he have to adjust to the different style of play in the Premier but he also has to do it under the media scrutiny. In that sense he reminds me of Andy Carroll (big bucks has to equal big results!!!), except that Andy will always be an overpaid sloth no matter how you spin it. Anyways, De Gea just needs some time and better motivation. Maybe some food could help.

It would probably be that simple if United weren't in a sticky situation at the moment. Obviously Lindegaard has had a more consistent run than De Gea, which is what they really need to keep up in the League. Fergie is sticking by his Spainiard's side, but if in the end they decide to go Danish I think De Gea won't have any trouble finding a new home ASAP if he would rather keep off the bench.

x Natasha

A Sweet Reunion

2012-01-15T09:46:00.000-08:00

For the past couple of weeks, we've been graced with 2 major comeback stories, and everyone loves a comeback. Whether it be the return of a reigning king that gave up his kingdom to venture a new foreign land, or of an aging guard who just thought it was time to lay his weaponry down, it's always a generally welcomed surprise.

THE ONES THAT HAVE COME BACK

The King
The return of the driving force of old Arsenal when their club was The Invincibles during his reign as captain is definitely seen as terrible news to the other Premier teams. Although Thierry Henry isn't planning on making this return permanent, he's already sketched a hopeful mark on every Gooner's brain during Arsenal's last match against Leeds United weeks ago, contributing the only goal of the match and gaining a win for his team. Henry's always been open about his deep-rooted affection with Arsenal even after his departure and the feeling was obviously mutual. Let's face it, Grandpa Wenger can't always rely on Robin Van Persie to save his team from the pits. As good-looking and amazing as RVP is, he's only human. And what with effective players like Gervinho, Thomas Vermaelen, and Jack Wilshere out for reasons of National duty or over-due injury, Wenger needs someone to help carry the load. Who's betting on Grandpa Wenger trying to make this deal more than just a poor 2 month-loan? Wager, anyone?

The Guardian

It would probably be more appropriate to call the other comeback a "paused retirement" since Paul Scholes had already decided to retire from the pitch before running back again. This certain comeback was understandably interpreted by everyone as desperation. Could it have something to do with Manchester United's ever-dominant neighbor? Not to mention Fergie's luck has the club losing players such as Nemanja Vidic, Tom Cleverly, and Ashley Young to a sudden curse of injuries. It didn't help things also that their young goalie, De Gea, kept messing up when it mattered most. So Fergie beckoned and Scholes answered immediately (I'm not even sure how the deal went down? What are papers when football honor is at stake!). But maybe he should have let the phone ring instead of answering because the man's comeback went from a warm welcome to second thoughts of retirement when during his return debut Scholes made a blatant mistake that cost his team a goal - and during their latest derby against Manchester City, nonetheless. They eventually won 3-2, but City made a marvelous strike back after initially being down 3-0. Fergie claims he has no regrets at all calling back the 37-year-old and says the redhead will be good for the team. Let's just hope he's wrong.

Now let's talk about the 'what if's. Here are the players I'd like to see make a second run at their old club.

THE ONES I'D LIKE TO SEE COME BACK

Xabi Alonso

i did not choose this pic for its compromising position and allure.
honest.

where is he : Real Madrid FC

come back to : is this question really necessary?

The relentless twitter replies and Anfield hype whenever Xabi gets online or makes the time to watch our game urging him to come back to Liverpool has yet to be fruitful. Emotionally, this come back would be a good thing because, well, everyone loves and misses him okay. Strategically, though, this would also be a very good thing. Our midfield is tight now with Captain Fantastic Stevie G back, but what if in the (likely) event he gets another one of those groin injuries and is benched again for months? We could rely on Lucas, of course - if he wasn't injured himself. We have to be real, Xabi is one of the best in midfield, we need more help to stabilize that area and he obviously is still in love with the club. Heaven couldn't even make a better match than Xabi Alonso and a red jersey (no, not those hideous LFC-copied away kits Real Madrid forces him to wear on occasion ugh). Wishful thinking or not I will never stop wanting him to come back home.

Andriy Shevchenko

where is he : Dynamo Kiev

come back to : AC Milan

I've hinted quite a bit about my past fling with Serie A and AC Milan when I was younger which was mostly caused by Sheva. Brilliant, to say the least. His relationship with Milan was like spaghetti and bolognaise : you could evidently have them separately but they wouldn't be as good as if they were together. True to football karma, his spectacular shining run he had with teammates like Filippo Inzaghi and Kaka at Milan faded into obscurity after he signed a huge deal with Chelsea FC (of course). They eventually let him go back to Milan on loan but that comeback1 was nothing, the damage had already been done. Which is why I would like it if he had the chance to have another comeback to the Italian club - comeback2 - but with all his swag fully intact. Impossible but dream-worthy, even though they don't even need him at the moment.

Miroslav Klose

where is he : S.S. Lazio

come back to : Bayern Munich

If anyone can prove that age ain't nothin' but a numba' then it would be this guy. Most likely one of the best players in Bundesliga history and on the world stage (the only player ever to score more than 4 goals in three different tournaments), wouldn't it be amazing if he reunited with his old club and teamed up with its strong youngens? Not sure why Bayern was dumb enough to let a player like him walk away in the first place but apparently he's been making his mark at S.S. Lazio in Italy. Hopefully he's experienced some home sickness there because it's a bit weird seeing him in the middle of all those Italians being so tall and danty. It would be such a treat to football fans to see Klose link up with the bunch that Bayern Munich is currently holding, although I'm thinking it would pretty much look something like the German NT of the 2010 World Cup.

Ronaldo

where is he : somewhere being awesome in his retired glory

come back to : anywhere, just coming back to the footy arena would be so nice

Remember joga bonito? It was Brazil's hakuna matata and Ronaldo was their Timon and Pumba. He spread his Latin American magic like nobody's business alongside some of the most dangerous teammates on a national stage, such as Ronaldinho, Rivaldo, and Roberto Carlos (am I the only one seeing an 'R' trend here?). Brazil was unstoppable in the world, and any club Ronaldo was perched at was the best. The only footballer as of current to have a talent anywhere near the Original Ronaldo would be Messi, which is probably why they are two out of the only three men in existence to win the FIFA Player of the Year award three times (the third man being the great Zinedine Zidane). He made his last appearance for the national team in June last year, 5 years after his last ever match for national duty. Arguably one of the best footballers in history and appropriately named "El Fenomeno", it would be amazing to have that kind of genius active on the pitch again. It would also be exciting to see Ronaldo and Messi go head to head in a game. Not to mention being able to see him instead as a search result whenever I type 'Ronaldo' rather than the Portuguese Cristiano. I know this is an impossible one reminded his age and health, but I wasn't able to keep myself from mentioning him. Legend.

x Natasha

The Football Oscars - 2012 Ballon d'Or

2012-01-10T00:50:00.000-08:00

Was last night really a surprise for everyone when Lionel Messi nabbed his third Ballon d'Or in a row?

The man is a Messiah. If the football world is a chocolate factory then he is the Willy Wonka. Although everyone was happy for his well-deserved win, a lot of people - including myself - were a tad irked that Xavi Hernandez was still denied of the Golden Ball. And I don't think anyone who thought Xavi should win it are saying that Messi doesn't deserve it, it's just that Xavi also equally deserves it. I mean, Messi is young and I know people tend to forget how young he is because of his mature talent but Xavi is not so young and he could retire soon. I just don't want him to hang up his boots without getting his Golden Ball, you know? 2010 was definitely his year and yet he STILL didn't get it (that was Messi's 2nd win). If Xavi couldn't get it that year - the year where he was part of the historic Spain NT that won the last Euros and World Cup, something Messi has yet to accomplish with his own NT - then I really don't know what else there is left for him to do so he can. This is Leonardo DiCaprio and the Oscars all over again, really. At least he wasn't left out of FIFA's XI of the Year or I'd have to fly to Zurich myself and mess shit up.

My annoyance aside, I am happy for Messi and may God bless his humble soul.

And I'm glad that King Pep Guardiola scored the award for Best Coach of the Year! Honestly, it should have been his from last year but it wouldn't be a proper awards event if the winners were screwed up occasionally, right? He even dedicated the award to his homeboy Tito.

he spoke and it was english
and everyone died

I read that the FIFA Presidential Award was given for services to football, so I guess Sir Alex Ferguson deserves that one since he's been in the game for what seems to be decades. Maybe Pep will follow in his red-faced footsteps. I bet the Mancs are just glad that the awkwardness Sepp Blatter brought onto the stage did not ruin Fergie's moment. Although the interaction between those two when Fergie was mumbling some things to Blatter wasn't really a pleasing passing moment either.

And Japan definitely owned the awards last night with Japan's Women NT coach Norio Sasaki and their captain Homare Sawa snagging awards in regards to Women's football. Sawa and some other teammates came to the event dressed in traditional kimonos which I thought were lovely. Workin' it, girlfriends.
Japan also won the Fair Play Award. Congrats, Japan!

Sawa and Messi, the best of both worlds

It was unfortunate though that the Puskas Award for Best Goal of the Year had to go to some little punk, also known as Neymar. Debates state Wayne Rooney should have won it, and even if he didn't it should have gone to Messi's goal instead rather than the little fetus'. Neymar stans, of course, stand by their teen-dad. To be honest I have to side with the people shouting Rooney for this one. You can judge for yourself. I think if this award was rigged we all know who the culprit is.

Congratulations to everyone else who went home with a prize in their hands!

Other highlights that are of ~real~ importance :

The Original Ronaldo was there and the 2nd Ronaldo was not! bless the universe.
Shakira's show-stopping red dress.
Zidane's perfection.
Rooney's styled (!!!) roots that had EVERYONE surprised.

Now that that's over, the only thing left to do is judge everyone who is anyone in football on their votes.

x Natasha

If You Like It You Should Put a List on It

2011-12-21T03:12:00.000-08:00

It's that time of year where everyone is getting ready for stocking surprises, some eggnog and delightful choco chip cookies, and, for the luckier people living in colder weather, a bit of snow fall.

It's almost Christmas!

And what could be more fun than making a list of things you'd want to find under your tree?

A list of 4 football players from each position you'd want to find under your tree, that's what!

Here are the footballers I'd like to find wrapped up neatly in bows when I wake up, and why.

*GOALKEEPER --------

Now, this position is one of the hardest positions to be filled. I could go the Spanish route, staying true to my Spain NT fangirl self and choose from their "finest of the finest" goalie line-up. I could also go English instead, opting for the goalie i like and insist is wearing the wrong shade of kit. Or maybe I should be unpredictable and be nostalgic of the days where I cared about Serie A and decide on one of my longtime favorite goalies ever...

PUT A BOW ON IT : Pepe Reina

WHY : I'd imagine after I've taken the red bow off his bald head he'd offer to cook me some Xmas churros so we can sit around the fireplace and talk about how awesome Liverpool is, and joke about Iker and his relationship with Facebook and Google Translate.

*DEFENDER --------

So many defenders, so little time. I have so many favorites, how can I possibly decide who I want Santa to bring me? There's my beast of a Scouser, my Giant Wall of Derp, that Brazilian beast, or le delicate Danish flower... kind of intrigued to ask for this guy too, just so I can see if I can make him cry at the Xmas party. Oh my god but there's also Kelldawgs, and etc etc etc etc (I could really go on and on in this category).

PUT A BOW ON IT : Jose Enrique

I don't know what's going on here
but I like it

WHY : Rumor has it he likes to show off his biceps. I'd like to watch him show off in my living room whilst eating smores. After he's done we could make prank calls to Grandpa Del Bosque as revenge for not calling up Enrique for National duty. (Seriously, shame on you, VDB)

*MIDFIELDER --------

I'm so predictable some people I know reading this blog who are aware of my undying love for Xavi will probably think I'm going to ask for him. But I think there's already too much Spanish up in this party and, well, I don't want to get charged by the FA so I might as well make this event racially diverse. Besides, me and Xavi are already soulmates anyway so I guess asking Mr. Claus for him would be kind of moot. So now I have to pick a non-Spanish midfielder? Why is that so ironic.

PUT A BOW ON IT : Jack Wilshere

WHY : It's 2 for the price of 1! He'd have to bring cute little Archie with him, right? After Archie's had fun opening his own prezzies and fallen asleep, we could get drunk and I could finally check off "touch Jack Wilshere's dimples" off my bucketlist. I know he'll bring the Xmas spirit.

(note : I want to ask for Captain Fantastic but that would mean I'd also have to ask for the Ginger Prince. But if I asked for both of them they'd just pay attention to each other and make their own little world without me, which I can simply not abide to on Christmas.)

*FORWARD --------

Are Spanish and Argentinian too close to each other? Well, screw diversity, man. It's either this or another Spainiard. You have found my weakness.

PUT A BOW ON IT : Sergio Aguero

WHY : Other than the fact that I've been pining over how flawless his kicks are (also, his face), he seems like a nice guy. I really like his hair. Maybe he'll let me touch it and style it whilst he spills his deep feelings about how hard it is to be a player in a generally-hated club over a cup of hot cinnamon cocoa. I'd also like to discuss some other fashion choices for him on the pitch. Baby Benji could keep Baby Archie company, too.

I hope Santa and his reindeer don't deliver my order to the wrong house because not getting these presents would be the worst Xmas ever.

x Natasha

POST INSPIRATION

An Identity Crisis (or a marketing scheme - wait, what for though?)

2011-12-14T01:22:00.000-08:00

What do Barcelona, Real Madrid and Chelsea have in common?

The answer : a visit from a little blond Canadian boy that likes to make tween girls scream and cry in their sleep.

Not sure what teen idol, Justin Bieber, is doing at Stamford Bridge, or any other famous footy stadium for that matter, but I heard from the great vines of the interweb that he gave the Blues a visit to look into a job position - Fernando Torres' job position.

Juuuuust kidding.

Wouldn't you believe it though? Annoying as he is, the kid has got some moves with the ball, not gonna lie.

Not that people would actually believe in this rumor has anything to do with the freckled striker's terrible shows and skills since his arrival at Stamford Bridge. He's been doing grrrrreat.

Punk-Ass Friend/Entourage : "Yo JB, where you at, homie?"

JB : "Just chilled with my boys Lamps and Fer at the Bridge. It was tight, yo."

Not a Chelsea lover, but his experiences meeting - and TRAINING - with top footballers all around the world is really making me eat jell-o.

As if it's not enough I have to see his face everywhere there's a potential tween market, now he has to stalk me into football territory. Football territory is my safe house. If I'm not even safe from the Biebs in the football world, nowhere is safe anymore!!!

Who does this kid think he is, going from one club to another and wearing their freakin' kits, Michael Owen?

first publicly recorded existence of a Blue Culedrista
anything is possible, people!

Blame Canada.

Next stop....... Emirates Stadium? (for the love of God let it be Emirates instead of Anfield)

x Natasha

What Is An Orderly Fashion

2011-12-08T02:22:00.000-08:00

Poor Luis Suarez. With the media publicity from his most recent stint still lingering very strongly in the air, he has to accept FA's charges against him. By all means, it certainly is fair, of course, if he did indeed give Fulham fans a piece of Uruguay to remember.

I'm certain after all this time the Football Association (FA) has already had experience in dealing with such acts of indecency. They are professionals! Obviously they have proper conduct to deal with issues of inappropriate behavior from a footballer.

Like when Gary Neville and Carlos Tevez were at each other like dumb high-school boys on the parking lot of a Seven-Eleven, trying to out-punk each other. Tevez gestured to Neville after his goal against his former club in a January 2010 match, being upset about Neville's comments surrounding the Argentinian's Manchester City pay. As a thank you, Neville gave him the finger. This nonsense was certainly not to be tolerated at all in the professional field of football sport! So FA took action after sending Neville a note warning him of the serious consequences he'd face for that rude hand gesture to a fellow footballer during an official match. They charged Neville with a- Umm, wait, hold on. Ah yes! They charged Neville for his improper hand behavior by- Err, by what exactly I'm not sure. Even though I didn't find any official report or statement regarding his charge, I'm sure the highly responsible FA charged him with something.

Okay, here's a better example of FA's intolerance against "fan abuse", which I think is a very important matter indeed! When Ashley Cole made those V-signs at Arsenal fans back in 2007, the FA did not take it lightly. After the incident, Cole was charged with a fine of- Umm, he was charged with... Hold on, there has GOT to be a charge here somewhere... Hmm, that's odd. There aren't any charges to be found over that one. I don't think he was even disciplined for that shooting incident either. Maybe FA was just too busy with other things. They do have a lot of business to take care of, you know, they can't just see to everything. Geez.

Mind you, I have another example that will surely prove that the FA's charge on Suarez is nothing but reasonable and has been done many times before. Remember that time Wayne Rooney made V-signs towards Chelsea fans during a match at Old Trafford in May 2011? After that incident, Rooney was heavily charged with- Wait, what was Rooney charged with? Hmm.. uh, he was charged with.. well, the referee of the match, Howard Webb, didn't report it anyway, so it's not important. Atleast they took care of Rooney's F-word camera shouting with 2 match-bans. No charges, just bans. I think that's alright.

Regardless of this all, I assure anyone reading my blog that the FA is in their rights to the charge of Luis Suarez for middle fingering those Fulham fans. Yes, I know, they were spouting hateful chants at him - calling him a cheater and such - but that does not mean his fingering the football fans is acceptable. As I've explained already throughout this post, the FA charges every player guilty of the same misconduct with the same charges.

one of the many faces of
football fair play

The FA charges everyone equally, regardless of their nationality. They are professionals, of course!

I can't prove it, but I'm sure of it.

Also, for charging Liverpool FC on the grounds of "failing to ensure their players conduct themselves in an orderly fashion" from Jay Spearing's Fulham game Red card. Orderly fashion, indeed!

The FA is truly hands on dealing with the issues that matter the most.

x Natasha

***yes, this post was full-on sarcasm

****d' uur

Blue and Red at Stamford Bridge

2011-11-23T07:46:00.000-08:00

One of the best things about the Premier League is that nothing is set in stone. First you'll be thinking this, but then in reality it will turn out like that. EPL is, if not the top, one of the most competitive Leagues in the world, especially when there's a big team game on both sides.

THE ANTICIPATION

Last Sunday on the 20th of November, Chelsea FC had the opportunity to host Liverpool at their home at Stamford Bridge. The magnitude of the game was not only caused by the big rivalry between the two teams, but also for other more sentimental reasons.

Chelsea, of course, had the upper-hand being the home team. But Liverpool, who have been perfecting their team and play with each game, was definitely not going to be an easy opponent. Not with a starting line-up for the match as so :

the kind of line-up dreams are made of

With a balance in strength, there was no predicting how this game would turn out, although fans from each team obviously predicted the win to go to their beloved.

THE ACTION

As was thought, the match started evenly. Both teams opened with pace and determination. But mere minutes into it, the first row was present when Dirk Kuyt and David Luiz collided into each other trying to chase the ball before it went out. The two players were tugging at each other for balance, Luiz more than Kuyt, shoving him roughly away after the struggle. Dirk took offence and the ref gave warning to the curly one. Speaking of curly, Luiz looked undoubtedly bothered and unfocused through out the first half and seemed to give in to his emotions more than he should've. Guess the intensity was too much to handle.

There was definitely a lot of bickering on the pitch. I'm just going to go out and say it : the Blues were not very gracious hosts and the Reds did not take crudity lightly. Things got even more intense when Daniel Agger laid a rather harsh challenge on Didier Drogba, leaving the ref to grant a Free Kick that was just inches too wide and ran behind the net. It caused a stir because the FK hit the net as such so it seemed a goal had been made but wasn't. It was tight. The Reds made more chances than the AVB boys though, which finally led to a pass from Charlie Adam to Craig Bellamy, doing a one-two with Maxi Rodriguez resulting in a beautifully executed opening goal. Hopefully that goal didn't give Roman Abramovich any ideas for January.

After 3 Free Kicks, a lot of arguing, and 1 yellow booked Uruguayan later, the game was ours at half time with a 1-0 lead.

Unfortunately, Liverpool was being Liverpool and lost the consistent momentum come 2nd half. AVB must have given a pretty decent pep talk since the Chelsea lads slowly started to dominate the game. Defensive errors in the back led to a conceded goal made by Daniel Sturridge, who did a funny dance after even-ing the game. Good thing is after this poor display, the Red boys at Back quickly pulled their selves together, especially Martin Skrtel and Pepe Reina, who repeatedly made important saves. Not the same for the midfield and up front, though. We were just getting by when fast luck by the name Glen Johnson struck, giving Liverpool a lead once more at the 87th minute. Score stayed the same until the end and so Liverpool had successfully brought down the Bridge.

Happy as I am for the boys (was so happy I would have kissed a fish and hugged an octopus), we still have a lot to fix if we want to keep moving forward. More polished finishes and a resistant mentality should do the trick. Our Back was quite decent for a change. That's probably the Jose Enrique effect.

Man of the Match

the dynamite defender, GlenJo!

Not just for his winning goal, but for his overall consistent performance during the whole match. Liverpool without a doubt have few of the best defenders in the Premier League at the moment, one of them being Glen. Hope all that talk of a possible sale for him is pure rubbish.

x Natasha

Ballers and Cheats

2011-11-20T01:27:00.000-08:00

It's always funny when guys are caught cheating, but it's 10x funnier when the guy is a famous footballer and he's outed to the masses. Wojciech Szczesny, Arsenal's first goalkeeper knows this first hand. Footballers picking up girls is nothing new, but when said footballer is allegedly picking chicks up when he already has a Miss..... well, that's not really new either.

I'm sure a lot of people have already heard about what happened last friday night on twitter. And there's been so many different reactions about it.

Reaction no. 1 // non-Arsenal footy fans : laughing your ass off at the idea that Woj - effing WOJ! - tried to put his "thing" in places he shouldn't and just finding the whole situation just too damn funny to even. Hats off to the girl who outed him out! Anyway, when's the next match?

Reaction no. 2 // Arsenal footy fans a.k.a gooners : getting so pissed off with everything and taking it very personally to a point where you bash that chick out straight on twitter. Who does she think she is? What a slag! How dare she point out our number one goalie's flaws and wrong-doings like that!

Reaction no. 3 // the srz bznz-type footy fans : taking the situation not at all so lightly. Nobody has the right to air such private information like that. She should go to jail.

Reaction no. 4 // gooners who don't care about anything else : WE HAVE A GAME TOMORROW OH MY GOD WHAT IF HE LOSES HIS FOCUS BECAUSE OF THIS SHIZ IF WE LOSE IT'S GONNA BE ALL HER FAULT!!!

Since I'm not a gooner, nor do I like to engage in srz bznz (d'uh) obviously mine was Reaction no. 1. I mean, come ooooon! If this had happened with John Terry I'm sure all those gooners screaming bloody murder would be having a damn Hawaiian-themed party. It's Woj for heaven's sake! If you're a footy and pay notice to Arsenal sometimes, or you follow his tweets you'd understand just how funny this all is. This is something that would totally happen to a Wojciech Szczesny.

What I can't understand, though, is why. I mean, I can understand in the sense that I know how cheat-prone guys in general are, let alone famous 'ballers. Athletes having some snack on the side when they already got a main course is as cliche as Jose Mourinho talking smack about the opposing team after a game. But it just boggles my mind when their main Miss/Mrs seems to be just fine and he should be satisfied with that, yet he still goes looking for more kitty cat. Does it have to do something with wanting some variety on the menu because I really don't understand.

And I can't believe the crap that girl who outed Woj has been getting from the gooners. It's even more insane when the girl's a self-proclaimed gooner herself (what). Well, gooners are crazy, and of course she was setting herself up for it by doing this, but the things she's tweeted since the incident is pretty hardcore. She's stated many times that the reason she did it was because she was sick of footballers thinking they could do whatever they want - or whoever they want - when they clearly are already committed. She also said she's just come out with it now (when the alleged message is around a month old) because she just found out he still has a girl. I get where she's coming from when she says all that, but enraged Arsenal fans probably don't when she has racy pictures up online and she works for some sort of "date" service. I'm not really sure what her job is, but she is not a model (!!!). How surprised I was when I clicked the link to her work site thinking she worked at a magazine or something. I'm not the one to judge anyone about their job (atleast she has one) but I'm just saying that might not do well in the eyes of the public in this kind of situation.

And all he wanted to do was talk! Poor guy, that girl is turning all this into something it's not! shout mad gooners regarding the infamous picture she posted up of his message.

Rey Guardiola thinks you've had too many

I know as fans they're going to stick up and stand by their player's side but let's be real here for a second : he did NOT just want to talk. What are the odds of a guy giving his number to an online date escort and just wanting to talk? What the hell did he want to talk about? The weather? Well.. well.. How does everyone know it's real, huh? She could have definitely edited that message! Well, if you think a girl like that has the interest and, more importantly, the skills to do an image manipulation then by all means you can believe so. Seems unlikely, though.

Not everyone is hating on her. Some believe the basis of her doing was acceptable. But some other people are defending the goalie's honor and think she had no right in exposing him. It's a tricky thing to get into but I'd say it's half and half for me. She probably went too far with giving out his number (if only we knew how many texts and calls he's gotten since) but I say more power to her for exposing lying cheats. Married or just in a relationship, little Woj should not be sneaking around with girls that are not his steady girlfriend. It might have been a bit of attention seeking, but up until this she's rejected interview offers from the medias who have approached her. So maybe it wasn't about money after all... or maybe the right amount of money just hasn't shown up? Or, maybe it was about attention.... and also pride?

Whatever it really is about, maybe JT, Rooney and Woj can write a book together about it sometime. I'd buy it.

x Natasha

7 REASONS WHY LIVERPOOL SHOULD KEEP LUCAS LEIVA

2011-11-11T09:26:00.000-08:00

Sick of the comments on how 'talentless' Lucas is? Tired of all the moaning whenever he doesn't score a goal when he's played a game? Can't take the speculation - or maybe it would be more appropriate for me to say suggestions - that come January transfer our blond Brazilian be sent away?

Here are the 7 reasons why we shouldn't let him go, just to make you feel better.

REASON #1 : WE NEED HIS KICKS

When I say "we need him" people are likely to respond along the lines of 'We don't need him, we got enough mid-fielders to last us to the Arctic' or 'He's useless, he doesn't do anything during games' or, and this is my favorite, 'We're better off with Henderson around than him'. Not sure why people would even dare to think we're better off with Hendo than with Lucas. Who does everyone think has been holding down the fort when Henderson was still back at Sunderland? Santa Claus?

I admit that Henderson's good (if he wasn't King Kenny wouldn't have thought to sign him would he), but he also has his un-moments. That's not even a word but what I'm talking about are the times when he's completely invisible during a game. There are times when I forget he's even on the pitch. As good as he is, he's still green and unstable. We need someone just as talented but with more experience and consistency, a.k.a Lucas Leiva. He hasn't been that hot these past games but every player has their "down-time" for a bit. Besides, football isn't just about making goals. If anyone paid attention enough they'd notice how fast he runs from side to side chasing the ball, how he manages to stop opponents in the middle of a dance on the pitch, how accurate his passing is compared to any other of his midfield buddies, or how elegantly he scores when he does get the chance to do so. We need that and if we already have that, why let it go?

REASON #2 : WHAT CHAMPS ARE MADE OF

He's not just Lucas Leiva the football player. He's also Lucas Leiva the good guy. He has this positive attitude that he keeps on bringing with him everywhere he goes, especially on the pitch. He has a good head on his shoulders. I know I'm not the only one who thinks this. He has that mentality where he can take bad things and make them into positive motivations. It's amazing at how good of an attitude he has with fans, especially since Liverpool fans haven't always appreciated him properly. Or been that kind to him. But he just takes it all in and, with a smile I imagine, tries to do what he does again for the club he loves - but better. Ask him what the highlight of his career was and he'll say winning The Player of the Year Award from the fans. Judging by how other footballers can be when dealing with ungracious fanatics, how they pull all these crazy shenanigans, I'd say we're more than lucky to have a man and footballer like him on our team. He has the mental of a champion, and, yes, we need that now more than ever.

REASON #3 : HE'S MULTI-TALENTED

Not only can he play a great game of footy, he also has skills in other areas of sport. Jokes, but you get the gist.

REASON #4 : HIS LOYALTY

I know that word doesn't really mean much anymore in the football world, but I think it still means something to him. Liverpool fans are notorious for their loyalty, but when it comes to Lucas oddly enough they seem to forget about it sometimes. When Lucas first joined our club, boy, was he in for a slamming. Suddenly everyone was a critic. But after a while, he got to prove himself worthy of the club crest, and the critics soon shut up and warmed up to him like the sweet Brazilian breeze. Sadly, even after all these years of him giving all he has for the club and not thinking for a moment that he'd be suited better in a different colored kit, some of those earlier moaners pop their heads up again and open their pie holes to give him a piece of their mind. To be quite frank, I don't understand why he's still even hanging around our club after all that, but I guess he's just that kind of person. I'm glad he realizes that for every moaner there's 100 others that support him, appreciate all that he's done, and adore him no matter what, including me. If being one of those people is wrong, then I don't want to be right (cue dramatic background music).

The King seems happy with him, that's enough to convince me

REASON #5 : HE TRIES... VERY HARD

He's born and bred in Brazil but everyone knows once you're a Red Scouse you can't go back. I kind of made that up but it's still true. He's said many times how much he loves the club and the fans, so he does his best to be Scouse, as Scouse as a Latin American can be. I'm sure his team mates know this. I hope Carra does too.

REASON #6 : HE'S LUCAS LEIVA AND HE DOES NOT GIVE A DAMN

Everyone knows that story of a seasoned footballer just trying to play the game for his club all the best he can, when out of nowhere the club finds a younger, faster, 'better' talent than himself and brings that youngen to the club. Junior is basically the same position as Senior, and eventually gets called up for the starting XI more and more every game. The Senior soon enough feels threatened by the lack of play time this new kid's presence has caused him, voices this out discreetly (to the press), and soon receives a generous offer from another club, and so Senior moves out of his old club and into his new club where he is more appreciated and lives happily ever after. Well, I don't see any of this with Lucas, even though Jordan Henderson has been brought in to the team and everyone keeps comparing the two all the god damn time. Lucas is man enough to not be threatened by this little blond english boy that people say is better than him. Nope, nu 'uh. He knows he's Lucas effing Leiva and he doesn't give a crap about this fetus. He's staying at Anfield and he's playing the football.

REASON #7 : LITTLE PEDRO

If I haven't been convincing enough on why we shouldn't let him go, I bet the haters to try telling baby Pedro how they feel about his Padre. Go on, look that baby in the eye and tell him. Double dare.

Basically what I'm saying is Lucas Leiva is an amazing football player and (somehow) even more amazing human being with a love, passion, and dedication to Liverpool since the first day he set foot at Anfield until today.

And that's why we should keep him.

x Natasha

We Are The Champions....and by We I Mean the Spain NT

2011-11-10T01:58:00.000-08:00

2012 is near and the new Spanish kits for the Euros are here!

Can we all just take a moment to appreciate how amazing their new kit presentations always are.

Carrying on, I need to dissect the new Euro kit compared to the old one, because I have some sort of problem with obsessing over these World Champions like that.

This pretty piece of 2008 was gorgeous, still is. But now that we're in 2011 and things have changed quite a lot this design does seem a bit out-dated. Isn't it funny how old jerseys always seem to look the most hip when they first come out and then seem "so 2000-and-late" after their time has passed, like Fergie had so cleverly put it?

badass walking

No, I'm not using this screen cap of the kit presentation as an excuse to post a Xavi picture. Okay, well, maybe I am but can you blame a Xavi fangirl? There are obvious differences between this new Euro kit and the old (of course) but there are still some of the old Euros here and there. There is the must-have of the Spain NT badge with the fabulous WC Champion star above it. The lines on the right arm have been reduced, much similar like Spain's WC kit, only with even lesser strokes.

left : the new WC kit; right : the old WC kit

I've always been fonder of the old kit. Maybe it's because it seems more "La Roja". Or maybe it's just because I only have the old kit. Or maybe it's because those additional bright stripes they added on the new WC kit almost made me go color-blind. Whatever the case, the new Euro kit definitely seems to be closer to the new WC kit than the old WC one.

But the longer I look at all these kits and compare them with the new Euros, I'd say the new Euros seem like a gentle mix between the old Euro kit (with the design using some of that dark blue instead of the bright blue or purple strokes, also the shade of red is the same) and the new WC kit (keeping the Spanish pride with the badge on it and shoulder-neck linings). If the old Euro kits and the new WC kits made love and had a baby, this kit would be it.

Overall verdict : I like it.

x Natasha

Revenge of The Doppelgangers . FOOTBALL EDITION

2011-10-26T00:36:00.000-07:00

Realizing your favorite football player/figure looks like an international celebrity is always fun. Some look-alikes from the football side :

LA LIGA

1) Xabi Alonso (Real Madrid Midfielder)

Doppelganger(s) : Jason Bateman / Michael C. Hall

Xabi and Jason are uncanny. From the red locks and scruff, to the weirdly cute pointed nose, and the small-shaped eyes, for all we know they could actually be stuck in a real life cross-country "It Takes Two" situation. But Pepe Reina begs to differ and thinks Xabi looks like Michael C. Hall better. Personally, I'd say he looks more like Jason Bateman but who am I to argue with San Reina?

2) Enrique Sanchez Flores (Atletico Madrid Manager)

Doppelganger : Hugh Laurie

The first time I laid eyes on Flores my first thought was "What is the doctor doing here? Doesn't he know people need to be saved?? Where is his cane!!!" but then I realized I was watching football not House so that couldn't be Hugh Laurie. Well, it could be if Hugh has a thing for spanish football but that seems unlikely. To me Flores is like a younger-unbroken-spanish version of Dr. House in my head. If he needed a costume for Halloween all he would need is a vest, jacket, cane, a sour attitude and he'd be set!

3) Dani Benitez (Granada FC Midfielder)

Doppelganger : Steve Buscemi

Now at first I didn't realize this, he actually reminded me of Chicharito the first time because of his beady eyes. But even though they both have that in common they hardly look like the same person. But then someone mentioned Boardwalk Empire on twitter during last night's Granada game against Barcelona and there was a sudden *click* in my head. Again, the (much) tanner, younger, spanish version of Buscemi, of course.

THE PREMIERE LEAGUE

1) Stewart Downing (Liverpool FC Winger)

Doppelganger(s) : Christian Bale/Jason Mraz

Another set of triplets! Bale was pointed out to me by a fellow female footy friend and, although I've never been fond of the actor, can't deny they have the similar face features. In this case of course I'd be more accepting of Stewart being Jason Mraz's twin because I just love his music. But Batman or Musician, this group of doppelgangers is obviously not short on talent. It's like they've divided themselves to conquer the world through football, film and music. Better watch out.

2) Andre Villas Boas (Chelsea FC Manager)

Doppelganger : Patrick Dempsey

Can you even with the hair? Because it's really driving me insane - in a good way. Being the Grey's Anatomy fan that I am, I propose the writers create a special storyline just so we get to see these two together at the same time on screen. Or maybe Roman Abramovich would be so kind as to invite the Dr. McDreamy actor to a Chelsea game to experience some english football so we can atleast see them on the same pitch. Wouldn't that be a delight? I'll get the online petition started.

BUNDESLIGA

1) Mats Hummels (Borussia Dortmund Center Back)

Doppelganger : Orlando Bloom

Epiphany came when I saw a picture of Hummels and thought it was Orlando Bloom instead. Is Hummels really German? Is he sure he's not English like Orlando is? They could definitely have came from the same mother AND father, I mean really. It's kind of rediculous how they both have the facial hair growing in the same places too.

2) Michael Ballack (Bayer Leverkusen Central Midfielder)

Doppelganger : Matt Damon

Michael will always be one of my favorite German players to date. I don't care what people say about him, first loves never fade and that goes the same for football crushes. Pleasantly surprised when I came to the realization that he looks like Matt Damon's foreign brother. Now instead of being captain of the German NT, Matt could fit Michael into one of the lead roles in his movies. A little dye and no one will even notice. Win-win for everyone.

x Natasha

The Man Who Ruined a Million Dreams

2011-10-24T12:14:00.000-07:00

This might look like your average wanted man on a reward poster for his capture, but it is not. It's the picture of a man so powerful and evil he was able to crush the dreams of millions during a life and death situation.

Okay, maybe I've exaggerated a little. It's really a grudgingly edited picture of current Sevilla goalie, Javi Varas, who almost single-handedly stopped Barcelona from winning - scratch that - scoring a single goal during their recent encounter with Sevilla. I say almost because although he made what was probably the highlight and performance in all of his football career, half of the other credit really goes to the Sevilla defense that was achingly superb. Although if I was being honest I'd have to say that if Varas wasn't their goalie that night I'm not sure Sevilla would have managed to have a clean sheet.

He managed to save shoots from the likes of Andres Iniesta, David Villa, and most importantly, Lionel Messi. Repeatedly. Twelve saves in total and one of those Messi saves was a penalty kick (whaaat).

Probably the most talked about and hated man in Barcelona right now, I seriously have a love/hate relationship with this talented evil goal-keeper.

Warrant is out for his arrest. Crime? Denying my Barcelona their kicks and tricks.

Reward can be withheld due to circumstances of financial instability.

x Natasha

The Race Case

2011-10-24T09:48:00.000-07:00

Since the beginning of football time, one of the things that has been essentially a sensitive issue in the sport is racism. It appears every now and then whenever the game turns into a wrestling match at the end of the day media reports suggest racial abuse as cause for the commotion, and this seems to be getting more and more common. Racism? In 2011? It appears so.

CASES IN POINT :

(*) Last el clasico in August. You might have heard of it, the one where Mou pokes an eye out? During all the chaos RM star scorer, Mesut Ozil, was seen furiously trying to have a go at David Villa. Unusual because Mesut Ozil isn't really the type of player to get into a fight. Later accusations started to surface that Villa had insulted Ozil, who is Muslim, religiously. Villa denied the reports and later on the truth of David actually slapping Ozil during the brawl explained how a mad Ozil had come to life.

(*) After Liverpool’s big game against Manchester United. Nothing eventful happened on the pitch but the racial fire started post-game when Patrice Evra started making claims of Luis Suarez calling him a racist name 10 times during the game. Luis has vehemently denied that claim, the referee also denies any wrong-doing witnessed, and Liverpool is staying behind the player's statement of innocence. An FA investigation has been launched and depending on the result either one of the players involved will be facing heavy consequences.

(*) Another Barcelona-related one (FC Dramalona lol), their latest match against Sevilla last weekend. A brawl was released on the pitch suddenly before a free kick was to be taken, involving Frederic Kanoute and Cesc Fabregas. Cameras showed a raging Kanoute holding Fabregas by the neck and knocking the number 4 player down to the ground, infuriating his fellow Blaugrana team mates. The next day the Spanish press was all over the case calling Fabregas a racist because the fight was set by him making an insult at a Muslim Kanoute.

All three of these cases have happened in the span of less than 3 months. That’s a lot in a pretty short time. And it annoys me to no end when I hear my favorite player being called a racist bigot because of such cases like these. Now, before anyone accuses me of being biased when giving these men the benefit of the doubt, let me just point out that this is my blog so you must deal with it. No, but really, I’m not just trying to defend them because they are players I heart but because there is no evidence that the allegations are true and what bothers me the most is it still gets printed as so in the media. The cause of the first case turned out to be nothing but David with his trademark brawl-slap, it had nothing to do with racism. Bear in mind that Ozil has never made an official statement about Villa insulting his religion and has only been quoted saying so by the media. How did the media manage to make this fight about race? Is it because Villa has a slapping track record and Ozil just so happens to be a Muslim so everyone automatically thinks the fight was because of that? Luis likes to throw bottles and bite people, so the public just assumes he’s emotional enough to say racist shit to an opponent to wind him up? Not for nothing, but Evra has been caught in 3 other race cases before this with 3 different parties that were proven untrue. Basically he's now a walking joke.

The third case is probably the most rediculous. Even after Kanoute has denied the rumors of his fight with Cesc was because of bigotry and them setting things straight mutually, lots of people still seem to believe otherwise. For Cesc to take to twitter to point out why he could never be racist might seem dramatic but I think it just really bothers him that people could think he's a racist, especially since he's had Muslims and black players as team-mates from his time at Arsenal up until now.

It's very concerning how 2 out of these 3 cases have turned out to be nothing but false accusations or misunderstandings. Not by the person involved but by the media. The press always manages to make something into something else that it isn't but bringing racism into the picture is a new low. It's understandable that journalists want to 'spice up a story' but writing in fabricated reports containing racism is another thing. Maybe it's not about spicing things up, maybe some journos really do believe race was the issue in the center of these fights? But if these assumptions are what come to mind everytime players of different beliefs and racial backgrounds get in the middle of it, how are anti-racist campaigns like Unite Against Racism going to actually make a difference? This type of narrow-mindedness needs to go away. If you always think everyone is a racist, well, then racism will never end will it? It seems that not only racism itself has to be diminished, racist assumption has to be too.

I am in no way saying racist allegations shouldn't be taken seriously. They should and FA needs to carry out the investigations properly until the truth is revealed and justice is served. And even though the facts in the Evra-Suarez investigation make Evra's claims seem unlikely, the case still needs to be dealt with properly. It's easy to call sides without any solid proof and solely based on your party of preference. United fans have been quick to call Suarez a racist after these claims were made public, and Liverpool fans (including myself) have as quickly stepped up to defend his innocence every chance given. All of this basically without any concrete proof of what actually happened on the pitch. Racism has been an ongoing issue in the football world and it would be very naive to think that has changed even with us going on year 2012, especially understanding that a lot of the times players who do endure racial abuse tend to not report the incident. But I also don't want people - players and press a-like - thinking it's okay to just make-up these kind of stories ever so lightly, because accusing someone of racism is as serious as a heart-attack and almost as dumb as being an actual racist.

x Natasha

It's a Hairy Situation

2011-10-05T03:08:00.000-07:00

When it comes down to it, football isn't just about football. Well, it kind of is but people forget about that when other things come to light.

One of those things could be hair.

Yes, hair. Not to take away from the beauty of the game and all, but how can spectators not comment on their players' crown when it's stuck onto their head forever and they have to look at it? A lot of footballers aren't exactly aliens when it comes to the do's and woes of hairstyling on the pitch, some even relish in it, and this season has not failed to bring us some of the most talked about hair in the game.

HAIR SPECIMEN #1 : Andy Carroll and his "Rockstar Hobo" look

Besides of his enormous sasquatch-esque stature, Andy can always be easily spotted on the pitch due to his bouncing tail. When he first joined Liverpool he only had one space of hair that grabbed our attention, but then he decided to push the envelope and give us another space to notice. Luckily, locker room talk put an end to that creature and now we're just left with his pretty little mane of hair that frolicks in the wind everytime he moves for a kick. Let's just hope he stays clean. I'm talking about his hair of course, and nothing else. Eherm.

Old-School Throwback to : Paolo Maldini. His brunette locks might just be the most well-known frame of mane in Italian football history.

HAIR SPECIMEN #2 : Cesc Fabregas and his "Rebel without a Cause" shag

Remember Cesc back when he had shorter hair? Me neither. Now he has this not-so-shagalicious set of hair that's too long for it's own good. If you think I'm being over-dramatic, what would you think if I told you about holding his new FIFA12 for ransom in exchange that he get a haircut? Because that's what Pique did on twitter. It even sparked some sort of a movement. But since his goal average has been flawless even with that disaster on his head, maybe we should just keep to ourselves about it...... lol just kidding. Just because you're cute doesn't mean you can have bad hair, Cesc.

Old-School Throwback to : Luis Figo. I'm pretty sure it looked better on Luis but maybe that's just me.

HAIR SPECIMEN #3 : Mario Balotelli and his "Mohawk of Doom" look

The mohawk is certainly a style we've seen plenty over the years, but only a few can pull it off with ease. After he decided to take on this challenging hairstyle, every now and then during a game it's either his hair or his love for iPad that's used as bad pun jokes by commentators. I for one have my personal theories of where he got his inspiration from. He's gone back to being bald now but rest assured his mohawk will be one of the more memorable mohawks in football.

Old-School Throwback to : Freddie Ljunberg. Judge the red all you want but Fred's mohawk is the best football mohawk of all time. OF ALL TIME.

HAIR SPECIMEN #4 : Fernando Torres and his "Long Blonde 2.0" hair

In the female world when we want to get rid of the past (like maybe if we want to forget about a bad experience, or maybe gone through a rough break-up and start fresh) we girls like to cut our hair. Change it up. Maybe it's the same for guys. Atleast it seems to be the same with Torres. According to my internet knowledge and vast pool of female footy friends, Torres' hot-o-meter shot to unbelievable heights when he cut his famous bottle-blonde hair short and went back to his natural brunette color. But that happened after a marking injury, leaving his stamina and skills on the pitch not the same. Everyone jumped to the connection between his lack of skills and the length & color of his hair. He's never really been the same Torres since and now it seems he wants to go back to his glory days by growing out his hair again and dying it some shit blonde, like the situation of his hair will somehow magically give him back his football powers on the field. We all knew that wasn't going to happen even before he tortured his hair. It doesn't even look the same! So not only is he playing badly, he also looks like a lesbian now.

Old-School Throwback to : .....umm, his old self?

Feel free to comment on any other hair that should be on the "honorable mentions" list.

x Natasha

They've Got to Be Joking, Right?

2011-09-23T04:40:00.000-07:00

Last weekend and pretty much up until this day was what I would imagine the Football Gods call "Prank Week". So many weird things occured in the world of football these past games, and I mean more than usual.

Let's do a little recap of some of the interesting highlights shall we :

1) The Good, The Bad, and the-WTF?!

In football there are the teams that are just too tough to lose, there are the teams that are just losers, and then there's Arsenal. No, I'm not saying Arsenal is lower than the lowest (despite arguable evidence), I'm saying they are... how do I put this, unpredictable. Yes, yes. Arsenal's fate is as shaky as the ground under an elephant, not even a psychic knows what's going to happen in their games nowadays. Especially not their last game vs Blackburn where, not only did they end up losing 4-3 to the Burns, but they also lost to themselves scoring 5 goals of which 2 were into their own net. I don't know but I'm pretty sure all the Gooners should be blaming Piers Morgan for their monsterous lack of luck because maybe he's bothered Lady Luck with his repetitive moaning.

Every Red on the face of this planet was excited for Liverpool's game against Tottenham. Everything was on our side : we had a great team with plentiful talent, we had a decent spot on the Table, and Tottenham were having a really, really bad time to put it mildly. What could go wrong really? Well, EVERYTHING. Not only did we have Santa Claus as ref, giving out 6 yellow cards and 2 red cards (JUST FOR LIVERPOOL), leaving us with only 9 men on the pitch come 2nd half, we were simply not being ourselves. The lack of pace, - especially in the back, bb Enrique left to do all the heavy duty it seemed - shoot accuracy, and focus from the boys was astonishing. We ended up losing (LOSING TO TOTTENHAM OMG) 0-4. The game also cost us Daniel Agger as he fractured his ribs during the hideous game. I hate Modric for his beautiful goal that started the Spurs' snowball, they actually did play well. By this game the Football Gods had gone mad, I was sure of it.

Like I've said before, some teams are just winners and some are just losers. And I'm sure, despite my own beliefs, people will categorize Real Madrid as a winners team. The only thing that could stop this club from their glory was their own dirty tackles and bad talk post-games. But if that wasn't enough, the Football Gods knew what to do. The game against Levante was a sure win. If Spanish football was high school, they'd be the geekiest of all geeks. Real Madrid as the popular powerful jock of the school certainly was going to have no trouble flushing Levante's head in the toilet. But along came a fairy godmother and granted the geek his wish, giving Levante a 1-0 win against Real Madrid. The footy world rumbled and Mad Mou spoke his piece as usual per conference, blaming Levante for being dirty cheats and the ref for a harsh sending off of Sami Khedira which left Los Blancos one jock down. As I didn't really watch the game, reports do say that the ref was even more into Christmas than Liverpool's Hotspurs ref, giving out 12 yellow cards in total (to both teams) and 1 red card. Not sure if he was sent by the Football Gods to wreak havoc on the game or if he just responded accordingly to the game's nature. If it was the latter, well then that must have been one violent game.

2) It's Not A Bird Or A Plane, It's Actually A Goal!!

What do Michael Owen and Fernando Torres have in common? I mean, despite both leaving Liverpool to join rival teams and become two of the probably most hated players in football? Well, the answer is they both also aren't exactly scoring machines. Now I can't really blame Owen for his own lack of goals because Fergie benches him a lot. I can't say the same for the other freckled one though, since he's had a decent amount of appearances on the pitch and yet has only managed to give Chelsea two goals. No, I didn't type that amount wrong, he's actually only had TWO goals since he's arrived in Chelsea which has been around 9 months. That is as long as it takes for an embrio to grow into an actual baby. I don't even. ANYWAYS, the two made footy fans buzz when they both scored for their teams during games this week. Torres made his 2nd goal when The Blues were playing United, although it was soon forgotten after he made an unbelievable miss against a perfectly OPEN United net. Oh how the Football Gods are humorously cruel. If you missed his miss (lol see what I did there) you could have watched it on YouTube, but the videos have all been taken down per FA's request (lol what). Luckily, it was already giffed! Bless the internet. Owen was luckier, getting pulled off the bench to score twice for a Manchester United win against Leeds and not executing a massive miss that was recorded and viral on the internet.

Guess who's a$$ this is!!!

3) Tie, Tie, and oh, Draw

Big teams like Barcelona are always expected to win, so after two draws in a row against AC Milan and Real Sociedad the team started to get annoyed. That annoyance only grew with some of our most effective players, Sanchez and Iniesta, out for injuries. Barcelona - in a drawing fit rage - took Osasuna to the cleaners, scoring 8 goals that night with a clean sheet. This was certainly not going to do for the Football Gods and their "Prank Week", so they stripped Barcelona of all their magic and thought it would be funny if after that colossal win Barcelona drew AGAIN. This time against a formidable foe, Valencia. It most definitely could have been a win if we didn't waste so many opportunities and if the crossbar and goal posts weren't trying to play the game as well.

Dear Football Gods, please stop.

This isn't funny anymore.

A confused footy fan,

x Natasha